SO MUCH FOOD - SO LITTLE TIME

It's important to remember the overarching reason why two people are going on a date:

1. To enjoy themselves

2. To get to know each other

With this acknowledgment, remaining happy while accommodating your partner should be a priority. Having to stay awake at 3:35 AM, nursing a headache thinking about the time you spilled spaghetti sauce all over your white shirt to the point it looks like the Mona Lisa was painted on should not be the reason you smother a pillow over your head languishing the chances of locking in that second date. Some guidelines to follow when choosing items off a menu on that date of yours are:

1. Only pick something you know how to eat.

   1. You ever eat clams before? No? Well, now's not the time.

   2. Remember the movie Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts? Do you want to reenact the escargot scene? Yeah, didn't think so.

2. Avoid the bubbly drinks until later when your date leaves, and you can pass all the gas you'd like.

3. Pick foods that lack a heavy load of garlic and onion; the scent is a tremendous driving force in attraction - some might say more than good looks.

4. Do NOT lick the plate or knife, even if the sauce tastes heavenly.

5. Don't overestimate your spice tolerance, or the next place you go to is a one-way ticket to the bathroom.

6. Try not to wear a white shirt if you know you're a messy eater.

7. Go for pasta dishes like penne or farfalle instead of spaghetti.

8. Drink in moderation to remember the date and consider going out some more. If you can't recollect the first date, you'll have to keep going on even more first dates to jog that memory of yours since the temptation of liquid courage took the best of you.

9. End that sweet date with some dessert; mayhaps pick a dessert to share since it's a great way to bond and show the other person you're willing to give up that last bite for them, or not, but that's on you.